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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?